Connect and Let them be Themseleves

One day my Grandma said “I had never seen my mother so hassled, with her 8 children, about their upbringing and you mothers today are with just one or two “. I had also often heard stories from my Grandma about how effortlessly my father, uncles and aunts grew up without her conscious effort when she was busy with her household chores from getting water from miles away (being from dry state of Rajasthan), grinding wheat daily for breads and cooking for such a large family with cousins and first and second cousins, to spinning her charkha to make thread for weaving blankets. Apart from a big house, she also had a large farm.  Every noon, she had to take packets of food and a bucket of Lassi for her husband who was working on the fields. She was a very busy woman, indeed!

I often wonder, what is it that is making us so anxious about our kids today? Why are we so inefficient and unequipped with the wisdom for parenting in spite of all the technological development and availability of information? Why is life becoming more of a calculation for their secured financial future and career rather than sweet lullabies and story times? What is it that we modern parents lack? Why this uneasiness and anxiety?


Of course, one need not probe into what has gone wrong. It is just that we have lost the passion and compassion to live life and have become materialistic. The industrial revolution has made us more gadget dependent over time. This has led us to become more money-oriented than Nature nurtures. We have moved away from nature and lost our natural instincts to face a situation and same has been transferred to our offspring.

It seems we mothers have lost that inner bonding required to listen to our baby. I once met a young mother at school and according to her she spends a lot of quality time with her kid in spite of being a working mother was to take him for movies every Wednesday. I couldn’t stop myself asking her “Do you really think you are right in taking a 5 year old for movie every week and that too the one which is not for him “. Once while travelling in a train I met a mother with her infant on her lap. It was a long journey and after sometime the baby became uneasy and started crying. The mother was unable to make the baby quiet. I looked at the mother with concern and told her that this was normal. She was clueless what was wrong with the baby. The mother was still holding the baby while I spoke to her. The baby began to look at me. I asked her can I take the baby in my arm. She let me do that. The baby was tired. I tapped on his forehead slowly and moved my hands over his eyes in slowly. I did this a couple of times and hummed my favorite lullaby. Soon the baby’s eyelids slowly began to droop and within seconds, the baby fell asleep.

The young mother thought I did some magic. I assured her that it was not so and that she should have just had a look at the baby to know what the baby needed. These tiny bundles of joy are precious gifts from the Higher Worlds. You need to be on toes and alert to know what they want from you: A hug, a soothing sound or a coo. We have an opportunity to lay foundations of healthy development for a later life. Look into their eyes, try and hear what they cannot speak, see what their eyes and face show us. Stop instructing and get involved in them. Let them be themselves. Let them giggle, cry, spoil clothes, play with mud and water. Protect them but not as your possessions or investments. Hold them with love and not as your responsibility …connect with them and Let them CONNECT to life and Let them be themselves and not your shadows.